suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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