Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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