so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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