We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
We're not piercing ourselves today.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
