We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
