It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
so let's talk penis.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
