life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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