we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Randomize