I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
