sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
