Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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