you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
