hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
