____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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