I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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