I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize
