Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
