We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
