I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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