How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
