I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize
