that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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