WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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