What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
