I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
