He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
