Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My brain says no but my pants say off.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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