Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Only a mothe r could love this liver
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I need water and some morals
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize