Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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