those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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