I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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