Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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