You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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