Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Randomize
