Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
