The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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