Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Randomize
