he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
