Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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