I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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