Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize