I want to have your abortion
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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