doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
