NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
