He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
