Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize