Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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