my phone needs a breathalizer
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
