Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
