this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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