I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
