hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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